Death Be No Factor
by Maya Beebop
Summary: Nny's dead and Squee's possessed!  Can Nny finished three earthly tasks before his trip to the Great Beyond?
1. Chapter 1

Johnny was just walking down the street. Like any other 2 A.M. And he was just slurping on a brainfreezie. Cherry Doom, as usual. Then it happened.

Out of the Taco Smell, a masked man came running. He seemed to have just stolen his order of whatever decaying crud they served there, and was trying to escape paying for it. Johnny paid him no heed. Until the man ran smack into him.

"Jesus, dude! Get out of my way!" the man yelled at him as they were tangled up. Johnny struggled to get off the ground.

"Aw, forget this!" The man pulled a gun, and blew Johnny away, straight through the head. The man got up and sprinted.

***

"Where the fook am I?"

Johnny looked around. Yup, it was Heaven alright. He had been here before; he'd know the creepy flying bunny rabbit things anywhere.

"Well, it's _you_ again. And I had just finished throwing up, too." The writing guy looked at him.

"Why the hell am _I _here?!" Johnny was ignorant of the situation.

"Well, lucky you. You're dead, AGAIN. But this time, you get a special benefit." 

Johnny listened to the man, and held his head with his palms, trying to understand. Everything was going so fast. The whole place seemed to be spinning around him at breakneck speed. Then he drew his palms down.

Johnny stared at them like he had never seen them before. They were covered in deep red blood.

"That ASS! He shot me! He shot me and killed me!"

"Good job! And heeerrrreeee'sss your prize! " The guy put on a game-show announcer's voice. 

"You receive one all-expense-paid vacation BACK to earth to complete three, exactly THREE tasks which you could not or would not do on account of your death!"

"WHAT?!"

"You have been assigned to one Todd, also known as 'Squee', to help you. He will be able to see you, no one else can. All you have to do is convince him. And if THAT doesn't work, you possess him!" 

"WHAT?!"

"I can see you're a bit on the slow side. I'll make it easy for you. You're going back to earth to do three things you always wanted to do. In order to do that, you talk to 'Squee' and convince HIM to do them. If he won't cooperate, you go into his body and do it FOR him," the man explained.

"Oh." Johnny was still trying to understand everything. Finally, after a couple hours of standing there, with a line of dead people backed up behind him, he got it.

"So when do I go?"

"Now. Go back the way you came," the guy said.

"Alright. But before I go…." Johnny turned back. He concentrated, and the man's head exploded. _(EEE! Head explody. Yay!!! J ) _


	2. Chapter 2

Crash-landing outside his house, 777, Johnny inspected his new "residence" next door. Going inside, he looked around. Ruddy, dirty living room, dim lights, dust. Yup! He'd feel right at home!

He located Squee upstairs, writing. 'Heya, Squeegee!"

The kid looked at him with mortal terror. "Aw, don't worry. I'm not going to kill you. To tell you the truth, I don't think I can. Look at me! I think I'm a ghost!" Johnny, also known as "Nny", looked down at his body, just like Squee. It was true; he was see through.

Squee just uttered a high-pitched squeak right before Nny bombarded him with the facts. The kid could only nod and watch as Nny walked around the room, explaining and pondering over what three things he would have done.

First, of course, there would be the expulsion of Meat. That was as true as anything. Then, he'd have to take care of a last Brainfreezie. 

_Devi. _The thought hit him like a tom of bricks. Surely she would not listen to _him_ apologize, but how about a child? Surely she could not turn a _kid_ away!

He had his three things. Now all that mattered was getting Squee to do them. "Squee, did you hear what I said? We have to do three things, and then I'll never scare you again."

Squee just nodded, then thought. "But I can't go and kill someone!" 

Poor kid. He was under the illusion that Meat was a human being. And to buy a Brainfreezie was out of the question. He didn't have any money, and regardless, the 24-7 didn't allow children to buy by themselves.

But then again, he was also under the illusion that Nny couldn't enter his body.

"Fine, I'll just take charge of this myself. Move over, Squee-in-there! I'm coming in!" Nny leapt up into the air…and crashed into Squee's skull. He sat on the floor, rubbing his head while Squee looked on. Apparently, the kid had felt nothing.

"Ow!"

Suddenly, out of the blackness and shadows of the corners of the room, the Writing Guy came forth. "You know, stupid, you're supposed to go in through the eyes. The head is _hard and painful_. Through the eyes, there's nothing blocking your way."

"Oh, excuuuuse me! I should have known! How stupid of me! I've only been doing this _NEVER!!!!!!_" Nny stated sarcastically at the guy with the glasses.

The guy shrugged and disappeared. Nny braced himself and prepared to jump. Jump he did, straight into Squee's eye as the kid started to squeak.

Nny felt lightheaded. And lighter. He moved his arm. Well, Squee's arm in fact, he came to realize. _Oh, jeez, this is strange. I'm in his body. I can move him. Where does HE go?_

The Writing Guy's voice reverberated out of the silence that followed. "He actually goes to a sort of "waiting room" where he can sit, wait, and read old magazines."

_WHAT! The poor kid! What torture IS that to invoke upon such an impressionable little thing?!_

***

A few minutes later, after relieving himself in the bathroom (Heh heh…where the f*** is the Bactine?! Heh heh…lol), he was out in front of the 24-7. Or rather, Squee was standing outside the store. He pushed open the door and surveyed the familiar scene. The Brainfreezie machine was standing in the corner, with the typical three flavors. Icy Ham, Frosty Peanut, and Cherry Doom. The latter his favorite.

As he smiled in joy, his thoughts were interrupted by the counter-tender. "Hey, kid! You can't be in here alone! Get a parent and come back!"

Nny/Squee turned around with hatred in his eyes. He smiled an evil, demonic grin and picked up a straw that was near the machine…


	3. Chapter 3

***

*A few minutes later*

***

Nny/Squee stood outside the store at a bus stop, sucking happily on a Cherry Doom Brainfreezie. The bus pulled up, and he hopped on. The driver grunted as Nny/Squee dropped a quarter into the slot. Sitting down, he kept one eye on the driver as he rode home. To Meat.

"Hey Meat! I'm hooooooome!!!" Nny/Squee bellowed into the blackness. There was only a rustling as an answer, then, "Johnny? Is that you? I can feel your presence, but I only see a child."

"And that's all you'll see." Nny had finished the Brainfreezie a while ago, so his hands gripped a knife he had left earlier on the front lawn. He raced, then tackled Meat and hacked the porcelain figure to pieces. 

"Take THAT, you chunky, spit soaked, vile little pile of filth." With a smile, Nny/Squee walked out and started towards Devi's apartment…


	4. Chapter 4

"Hey kid, you lost?"

Devi stood in the doorway. She looked down at Squee with concern.

"No, Devi. I'm not lost. In fact, I'm right where I want to be." It was Nny's voice. Not Squee's.

Devi collapsed. Never had she anticipated this. She fell into a chair and could only sit as this kid held her one hand in his two and talked with Nny's voice.

"Devi, I don't know if you will listen. But I'm dead. Oh, not the kind that a depressed person would say. I mean truly stone cold dead. At this moment my body's probably lying in the morgue and will never leave. But I had to say one last thing to you before I leave this world for good. 

"See, I've died before. I've been cold dead before. And once was enough for me. But apparently once isn't my lot in life. So here I am. But enough about my problems.

"I just came to say that I truly am sorry. I never really meant to kill you, and I don't expect you to believe that. I _could_ say that even if you don't, my conscience is clear and I go to heaven or hell with a lighter heart. But that's just not true.

"I really _do_ care about how you feel about me. And I just want to know how you stand on the subject. No, don't bother struggling for an answer. I know this is incredible and you'll look back on this moment for the rest of your life and think how unreal it is. I can't say I blame you. Even _I_ find this a bit hard to place, and that's _me_. 

"So, don't tell me a lie, Devi. Because I'll know. And it will hurt me just as much as this idea is hurting you. How dare I, you ask yourself. How could I come back and shove the proverbial blade deeper into your heart? Well, I don't know. But isn't that what love is? The unknown? Someone once said, 'Foolish is the man who will abandon many certainties for one uncertainty'. Well, that person must've missed putting 'loving' in place of 'foolish'.

"I'm done now. Be strong, and remember me, for what I was worth. Please, don't remember the one mistake I made. I'm not saying forget it. I'm saying don't associate me with it in the future. Goodbye, Devi. I'll see you when the sun sets on more than just another day…"

Night had come to an end. The first rays of dawn filtered through the thin curtains on Devi's windows. As a child stirred somewhere in the city, waking up from a particularly nasty dream about sitting in a room reading horrid old magazines, Devi looked at the sunbeam falling across her lap. For weeks afterwards, she could swear she saw a pair of folded hands on her legs, and looking into the sun a second later, she caught a glimpse of a certain face smiling sadly. Then, the vision disappeared.


End file.
